Feeling off? You’re not alone!-How to Navigate Relationship Challenges on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day can bring up a mix of emotions, whether in a relationship, single, or complicated situation.

With exaggerated celebrations of love on TikTok and Instagram it's easy to fall into the comparison trap. Falling to societal pressures to celebrate love in a certain way can lead to stress and disappointment.

Your feelings—whatever they are—are valid and this guide will help you navigate the day with self-compassion and clarity.

Understanding Mixed Emotions on Valentine’s Day

• For Those in Relationships: Excitement, love, pressure, disappointment, guilt.

Maybe you’re excited about big Valentine’s Day plans, but they fall short of your expectations. Does it mean you’re doomed? Absolutely not. When we build an experience up in our head, we’re doing the opposite of being present in the moment. 

So what can we do? 

💙Get Present: If you’re in a relationship and experiencing a range of emotions due to comparison or high expectations, the best thing you can do is try to remain present in the moment with what you’re doing with your partner. 

Perhaps this looks like taking a step BACK from a fancy dinner or over-the-top romantic gesture and connecting with your partner in a way that is special to your relationship. Remaining present in the experience. 

But how can we stay present when our brains are caught in the thinking trap?

💙Tap into the senses: 

-Notice how you feel next to your partner, what do you notice in your body? 

-What are the smells you notice around you? 

-When you touch, how does it feel? 

• For Those Who Are Single: Loneliness, relief, frustration, hopefulness.

Seeing other couples online or around you can bring up a variety of emotions, some expected and some surprising. Society often paints this day as one meant exclusively for romantic love, which can leave folks feeling overlooked or pressured to find someone—but the reality is much more nuanced.

So what can we do? 

💙Make romantic plans with yourself: Practice being kind and showing yourself love by making a good dinner, enjoying your favourite activity, or taking yourself out! 

💙Make unromantic plans: Maybe you don’t want to focus anymore on romance, so take the day as you would any other Friday.

💙Make plans with friends: Go out with friends, get takeout, or have a movie night in with friends.

• For Those Experiencing a Breakup or Loss: Grief, regret, anger, empowerment.

If you’ve recently gone through a breakup or experienced the loss of a loved one, Valentine’s Day can be especially hard. While others celebrate love, you may find yourself grieving, reflecting, or trying to make sense of your feelings. 

What can we do?

💙 Acknowledge your emotions: There’s no “right” way to feel. Whether you’re grieving, angry, or feeling unexpectedly okay, all emotions are valid.

💙 Avoid comparison traps: Social media can make it seem like everyone else is happy in love. Remember, what you see online isn’t the full picture.

💙 Create your own meaning for the day: Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about romance. It can be about self-love, friendships, or honouring the relationships that bring you joy.

💙 Seek support: If emotions feel overwhelming, reach out to a friend, therapist, or support group. You don’t have to navigate this alone.

💙 Practice self-compassion: Remind yourself that healing takes time. You are allowed to feel, process, and move forward at your own pace.

• For Those in Uncertain Relationships: Confusion, jealousy, frustration, hope.

If your relationship status feels complicated, Valentine’s Day can be unsettling. Maybe things are undefined, on-again-off-again, or you're unsure where you stand with your partner. Perhaps you’re left feeling stuck between hope and frustration.

What can we do? 

💙 Check in with yourself: How do you feel about the relationship? What do you want? Give yourself permission to acknowledge your needs instead of focusing only on what your partner wants.

💙 Communicate openly: If you feel safe doing so, express your feelings and concerns. A simple conversation can provide clarity and help ease some of the uncertainty.

💙 Avoid comparison: Just because other relationships seem picture-perfect doesn’t mean they are. Focus on what’s real rather than what social media portrays.

💙 Set boundaries around the day: If Valentine’s Day brings up stress or anxiety, set boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. This might mean muting triggering content online or choosing to spend time with friends instead.

💙 Validate your feelings: Uncertainty is tough, and it’s okay to feel conflicted. Give yourself grace and remind yourself that relationships should bring clarity and security, not just confusion and frustration.

💙 Decide what’s next: If this uncertainty has been weighing on you, consider whether you want to wait it out or if it’s time to prioritize your emotional well-being. Therapy can be a great space to process these feelings and explore what’s best for you moving forward.

💡 Pause here: Take a moment to reflect on your feelings and understand that whatever they are, they’re valid. 

When to Seek Support Relationship Challenges

• For some, Valentine’s Day can trigger deep emotional wounds (past relationships, rejection, self-worth issues). If you’re struggling, it’s important to reach out to close friends or family who can support you. 

• It’s important to know that while triggers happen, you need to know when family and friend support may not be enough. 

• If you notice thoughts of your relationship, past relationships, grief, or self-worth issues consuming your thoughts and getting in the way of your daily life. It’s a sign that professional support (e.g., therapy) could be helpful.You don’t need to navigate these consuming thoughts on your own! 

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💡 Pause here: If you’re already seeing a therapist, have you ever explored your thoughts and feelings about relationships? Take a moment to reflect on this before moving on. 

Resources 

(For whatever season of relationships you’re in)

One of my favourite ways to consume content is via podcast! That’s why I have the best recommendations for navigating relationship challenges while having a laugh along the way. 

Girls Gotta Eat: Dating, Sex, Relationships 

U Up: Dating, Sex, Relationships

Shrink Chicks: Self-exploration, Therapy, Relationships

Oversharing: Exploring triggers, Mindfulness, Families, Relationships

Wrap up:

• Remember, Valentine’s Day is just one day, and it doesn’t define your worth or relationship status.

• Focus on what actually brings you joy and connection—whether that’s with a partner, friends, or yourself!

• I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments, what does a fulfilling relationship look like to you? 

• If you’re ready to speak with a professional about your relationship challenges this Valentine’s Day, therapy can help you gain insight and clarity into what's going on. Book a free consultation today!